When we have a negative opinion about the person delivering the message, we close our minds to what they are saying and miss a lot of learning opport… - Annie Duke

Gabriele Oettingen, professor of psychology at NYU and author of Rethinking Positive Thinking: Inside the New Science of Motivation, has conducted over twenty years of research, consistently finding that people who imagine obstacles in the way of reaching their goals are more likely to achieve success, a process she has called "mental contrasting." Her first study, of women enrolled in a weight-loss program, found that subjects "who had strong positive fantasies about slimming down . . . lost twenty-four pounds less than those who pictured themselves more negatively."

John Maynard Keynes, one of the most influential economists of the twentieth century, summed up this phenomenon well when he said, "Worldly wisdom teaches that it is better for reputation to fail conventionally than to succeed unconventionally." Succeeding unconventionally carries with it the risk of experiencing failure as a result of veering from the status quo.

We are all trying to defend ourselves against how we imagine other people are going to judge us.