In the Jewish communities of Europe, learned but poor Jews were much, much more highly respected than rich but unlearned ones. - Leo Rosten

Jewish dropout: a boy who didn’t get his Ph.D. — ANON

Since God is the King of kings, all men, whether princes or paupers, are His servants. Hence, the rabbis taught that no man should serve another,* for all are servants of God alone. A sign in a café in Jerusalem reads: “Self-service. ‘For you are servants unto Me,’ saith the Lord.

Two Martians who had landed in America happened to run into each other. “What’s your name?” asked the first. “4286. And yours?” “3359.” “That’s funny; you don’t look Jewish.