"He came to realize that he would be OK regardless of whether he and Barb made it as a couple. Much to his surprise, their relationship began to impr… - Robert A. Glover

A year later he announced to his men's group that he and Barb had set a date to get married. He reported that they were getting along better than he would have ever imagined. He shared that the turning point seemed to be when he made the decision that he didn't care whether they made it together or not. That decision represented a conscious letting go of trying to control something that was clearly not in his control. Ironically, he shared that the process of letting go allowed him to receive what he really wanted.

Interestingly enough, when Nice Guys take responsibility for their own needs and make them a priority, those around them benefit too. Gone are the covert contracts, the guessing games, the anger outbursts, and passive-aggressive behavior. Gone are the manipulation, the controlling behavior, and the resentment. I learned this lesson first-hand a few years back.

"As long as a Nice Guy is willing to settle for bad sex, he limits his opportunities to experience good sex. I regularly tell Nice Guys, "You have to be willing to let go of what you've got to get what you want." Good sex can occur only when a recovering Nice Guy decides to stop settling for bad sex!"

An integrated male possesses many of the following attributes: •He has a strong sense of self. He likes himself just as he is. •He takes responsibility for getting his own needs met. •He is comfortable with his masculinity and his sexuality. •He has integrity. He does what is right, not what is expedient. •He is a leader. He is willing to provide for and protect those he cares about. •He is clear, direct, and expressive of his feelings. •He can be nurturing and giving without caretaking or problem-solving. •He knows how to set boundaries and is not afraid to work through conflict.