in converting Jews to Christians you raise the price of pork. — The Merchant of Venice, act III, scene - Leo Rosten

God, I know, will provide,” sighed one disconsolate Jew. “I only wish He would provide until He provides.

O, to be sure, we laugh less and play less and wear uncomfortable disguises like adults, but beneath the costume is the child we always are, whose needs are simple, whose daily life is still best described by fairy tales.

The only thing I can say about W. C. Fields … is this: Any man who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad.