The easiest way to get from point A to point B is with a vehicle that runs on alphabet soup. - Jarod Kintz

I’m the Director of Redundancy. I’m also the Director. I make love like I make love, and that is why I am the Director of Redundancy.

Don’t be jealous if I spend 50% of my time with you, and 50% of my time with others, because you get 100% of 50%, while all the others have to share that other 50%.” This is the speech I’ve prepared to tell my wife in the future, when I’m spending a majority minus one percent of my time with my clones.

I’d like to file a missing person’s report — on my clone. It’s nearly 2012. He should have been here by now.