I am at two with nature. - Woody Allen

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.

"I do not believe in God," I told him. "For if there is a God, then tell me, Uncle, why is there poverty and baldness? Why do some men go through life immune to a thousand mortal enemies of the race, while others get a migraine that lasts for weeks? Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?"

If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up.