Toxic shame is the belief that one is inherently bad, defective, different, or unlovable. Toxic shame is not just a belief that one does bad things, … - Robert A. Glover

Being integrated means being able to accept all aspects of one’s self. An integrated man is able to embrace everything that makes him unique: his power, his assertiveness, his courage, and his passion, as well as his imperfections, his mistakes, and his dark side.

"Do you make cutting remarks or hurtful "jokes"? •​Do you embarrass them in public? •​Are you frequently late? •​Do you "forget" things they've asked you to do? •​Do you criticize them? •​Do you withdraw from them or threaten to leave? •​Do you let frustration build until you blow up at them? Ask the significant others in your life to give you feedback about your caretaking and emotional pukes. This information may be hard to hear and may trigger a shame attack, but it is important information for breaking out of the victim triangle."

"As long as a Nice Guy is willing to settle for bad sex, he limits his opportunities to experience good sex. I regularly tell Nice Guys, "You have to be willing to let go of what you've got to get what you want." Good sex can occur only when a recovering Nice Guy decides to stop settling for bad sex!"