I really don't care if I get anything or not. [...] I'm very glad that they recognise my considerable skills as a toilet cleaner. - Michael Winner

So when I'm directing now, you see, I'm thinking of myself, I'm projecting myself in five weeks' time, sitting in a little room with two assistants, saying, "I now need a piece of film when Mr. Caine does this, or Mr. Moore does that." And if I haven't got it, I say, "Damn it, I should have gotten that." So all the time I'm imagining myself in that little X-time hence which is why I can shoot a very complicated pattern without any pre-planning.
Because I'm two people. I'm Arnold Crust, the editor, and I'm Michael Winner, the director.

So this is it: goodbye. I’ve been writing this column for nearly 20 years and I don’t want a carriage clock or a gold watch. I am trying to get rid of stuff, not collect it.

An OBE is what you get if you clean the toilets well at King's Cross station.