I define masculinity as that part of a man that equips him to survive as an individual, clan, and species. Without this masculine energy we would hav… - Robert A. Glover

"all Nice Guys developed the same paradigm: "If I am good, then I will be loved, get my needs met, and have a problem-free life.

"He came to realize that he would be OK regardless of whether he and Barb made it as a couple. Much to his surprise, their relationship began to improve. As he let go of trying to solve her problems and detached from her moods, Gil found that he had fewer frustrations and resentments. He even began to see Barb as a "gift" to help him work through his issues with his angry father. A year later he announced to his men's group that he and Barb had set a date to get married. He reported that they were getting along better than he would have ever imagined. He shared that the turning point seemed to be when he made the decision that he didn't care whether they made it together or not. That decision represented a conscious letting go of trying to control something that was clearly not in his control. Ironically, he shared that the process of letting go allowed him to receive what he really wanted."

Nice Guys are terrified of two kinds of feelings — their own and everyone else's. Any kind of intensity causes Nice Guys to feel out of control.