Coffee in England is just toasted milk.

Well what else do you do when you're in jolly old England than go on a search for a teapot?

Continental people have sex life; the English have hot-water bottles.

The Englishman is made for a time of crisis, and for a time of emergency. He is serene in difficulties, but may seem to be indifferent when times are easy. He may not look ahead, he may not heed warnings, he may not prepare, but when he once starts he is persistent to the death, and he is ruthless in action. It is these gifts that have made the Englishman what he is, and that have enabled the Englishman to make England and the Empire what it is.

The alembic of English tolerance has operated by now on the newer arrivals as well. Their sons have taken part in English life, contributed to English achievement, striven for England's betterment, shed their blood in England's wars.

As far as I can judge, English peasants are comfortably off. ... I have visited several farmers' homes in the country; their houses are clean and well furnished with all necessaries, and most of them possess silver spoons and mugs. They are all well fed and well dressed, and the coarse black bread our peasants eat is unknown to them. On Sundays they always have a good piece of beef before the fire, and all the year round a cask of ale in the cellar; in a word, there is plenty everywhere.

The English have gone soft in the outhouse. England is like some stricken beast too stupid to know it is dead.

Englishmen look on death in quite a different light to what other nations do, and are not afraid of it. As I have mentioned elsewhere, most criminals may be seen going with wonderful courage and fortitude to the gallows. I have also remarked that the passions of this nation are extremely strong and violent; they cannot bear failure, and customs and example are, I think, a great incitement to them.

Here are some happy English soldiers.
They are going to make the Irish happy.

The English, generally remarkable for doing very good things in a very bad manner, seem to have reserved the maturity and plenitude of their awkwardness for the pulpit.

It may be said with entire justice that Englishmen are very brave; they give a convincing proof of this in seeming to fear neither death nor danger. Their soldiers fight with the greatest valour. This has been sufficiently proved in the latest wars. However, few Englishmen seek service out of England, and very few are partisans of duelling, so that you do not often hear of this mode of settling quarrels, but should duels occur, the combatants will always come out of the fight with honour.

Nothing gives the English more pleasure, in a quiet but determined sort of way, than to do things oddly.

I also like what Voltaire said about the English. ‘The English are like their own beer: the dregs are at the bottom, the top is nothing but froth, but the middle is quite excellent.

Les anglais s’amusent tristement selon l’usage de leur pays.