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Babies aren't dishwasher-safe. - Daniel Tosh
" "Babies aren't dishwasher-safe.
English
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About Daniel Tosh
Daniel Tosh (born 29 May 1975) is an American comedian.
Also Known As
Birth Name:
Daniel Dwight Tosh
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Additional quotes by Daniel Tosh
[On looters stealing VCR's] Why are you stealing a VCR? They don't even make VHS tapes anymore! I'd steal a TiVo...but I don't, because I'm rich, and I've had one for three years. I would say four years, but that won't make the joke any funnier. You tell people, "I've had a TiVo for four years," and they're all like, "Who's the dick?"
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Thank you... I deserve that. I'm really good. I'm one of the best. Actually, I'm the best, currently ranked number one in the world. So buckle up. You guys are in for a treat. Oh, 19,000 people, This is awesome. Thank you. Seriously, don't look around. It's 19,000. People watching on TV, they never know. They're so stupid. That's why they watch TV.
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