I want to write my own eulogy, and I want to write it in Latin. It seems only fitting to read a dead language at my funeral. - Jarod Kintz

I wish success could be ordered like delivery pizza, because I’d order take out.

With a tough decision, the act of flipping a coin allows you to figure out which you really prefer, because as the coin is spinning, you find yourself slightly pulling for either heads or tails. No need to follow the coin’s outcome — choose the side your subconscious hoped fate would favor.

Reading — it’s the third best thing to do in bed.