The first thing Michael Phelps should have done when that photo came out was call Kobe Bryant's publicist. 'Cause Kobe was accused of rape, and all h… - Daniel Tosh

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The first thing Michael Phelps should have done when that photo came out was call Kobe Bryant's publicist. 'Cause Kobe was accused of rape, and all he had to do was settle in court for millions of dollars, change his jersey number and win a championship and that soulless town in LA couldn't be prouder. I just hope that when parents let their kids run around in #24 jerseys, they have the decency to say, "Well, come on, number 8 was the rapist. Number 24 has a great work ethic and an unblockable turnaround."

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About Daniel Tosh

Daniel Tosh (born 29 May 1975) is an American comedian.

Also Known As

Birth Name: Daniel Dwight Tosh
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Additional quotes by Daniel Tosh

I put a "What Would Jesus Do?" bracelet on my Jewish friend's wrist and it burned his skin. He threw it on the ground, it turned into a serpent, we both started laughing. We left it there. We hate snakes. We think they're slimy even though we know they're not.

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