I walk like I have tornadoes for legs. Let us make love like Kansas. - Jarod Kintz

If I have to beat you up to keep you safe, that’s just what I’ll do. It’s this kind of regard for others that makes me believe I’d be a good politician.

Conspiracy theorists like to claim NASA’s moon landing was faked. Well of course it was! But the biggest conspiracy of all is the Columbus landed in the new world in the late 15th century. There is no new world. It simply doesn’t exist. And Amerigo Vespucci? He was a character out of Walt Disney’s diary.

Life is about having an attitude of gratitude. And grabitude. Seriously, you’ve got to take stuff. What, do you think someone’s just going to hand you what you want?