Just about everything a Nice Guy does is consciously or unconsciously calculated to gain someone's approval or to avoid disapproval. - Robert A. Glover

One client, who hadn't had sex with his wife in 14 months, shared in a Nice Guy group that he was tired of listening to his wife complain about her work problems. That night, for the first time in 15 years of marriage, he told his wife that he was too tired to listen. Even though she was initially angry, later that night she asked him if he wanted to make love.

Humans connect with humans. Hiding one's humanity and trying to project an image of perfection makes a person vague, slippery, lifeless, and uninteresting. I often refer to Nice Guys as Teflon Men. They work so hard to be smooth, nothing can stick to them. Unfortunately, this Teflon coating also makes it difficult for people to get close. It is actually a person's rough edges and human imperfections that give others something to connect with.

When recovering Nice Guys decide they will no longer settle for anything less than good sex, they begin to take responsibility for doing something different. •​They let go of the concept of being a great lover. •​They practice being clear and direct. •​They choose available partners. •​They don't settle for scraps. •​They decide that bad sex is not better than no sex!