with practice, you’ll learn to light up the neural circuits of positive states even when you’re rattled or upset, like reaching through clutter to ge… - Rick Hanson

Try to accept what you’re experiencing as it is, without making it good or bad, right or wrong. It might be painful, it might be pleasurable; in any case, it’s here, it’s a human experience, it’s occurring due to various causes and conditions, many of which extend beyond you to other people, other times, and other places.

Things go much better if you slow them down. Give yourself — and the other person — the gift of time: time to take a breath or two, figure out what the other person is really saying, allow the first waves of fight-or-flight reactions to pass through your body, and recognize and restrain impulsive words and actions that you’ll regret later. Those extra seconds before you speak help others feel less like they’re on the receiving end of a rat-a-tat-tat barrage of words and emotional intensity. And the extra seconds give them time to reflect and be less hijacked themselves.

Whatever positive facts you find, bring a mindful awareness to them — open up to them and let them affect you. It’s like sitting down to a banquet: don’t just look at it — dig in!