with practice, you’ll learn to light up the neural circuits of positive states even when you’re rattled or upset, like reaching through clutter to ge… - Rick Hanson

Imagine the positive making contact with the negative, sifting down into frustrated places inside, perhaps reaching down into experiences of failure when you were younger. Let the sense of success calm, soothe, and bring perspective to the negative material. As you finish, let go of anything negative and simply focus on the sense of success.

Things go much better if you slow them down. Give yourself — and the other person — the gift of time: time to take a breath or two, figure out what the other person is really saying, allow the first waves of fight-or-flight reactions to pass through your body, and recognize and restrain impulsive words and actions that you’ll regret later. Those extra seconds before you speak help others feel less like they’re on the receiving end of a rat-a-tat-tat barrage of words and emotional intensity. And the extra seconds give them time to reflect and be less hijacked themselves.

Resentment is when I take poison and wait for you to die.