He got hot, he got so hot his lips fell off. - Karl Pilkington

It would be impossible, I'd just chuck meself into the salt pot or something. I'd hate that, that would be horrible that [Karl answering Ricky's question of how he would get Suzanne's attention in the Kitchen if he were a slug]

Where you are is what you eat. When I'm in London I'll have beans on toast for lunch. On holiday — what? Tapas? Go on then I'll have a bit. You eat whatevers in that area.

The Elephant Man would never have gotten up and gone, ‘Oh, God. Look at me hair today.’