Our most radical changes in perspective often happen at the tail end of our worst moments. It’s only when we feel intense pain that we’re willi… - Mark Manson

So what do we do? Well, if you’re like I used to be, you avoid using anything at all. You aim to keep your options open as long as possible. You avoid commitment.
But while investing deeply in one person, one place, one job, one activity might deny us the breadth of experience we’d like, pursuing a breadth of experience denies us the opportunity to experience the rewards of depth of experience. There are some experiences that you can have only when you’ve lived in the same place for five years, when you’ve been with the same person for over a decade, when you’ve been working on the same scale or craft for half your lifetime.
/when you’re pursuing a wide breadth of experience, there are diminishing returns to each new adventure, each new person or thing. When you’ve never left your home country, the first country you visit inspires a massive perspective shift, because you have such a narrow experience space to draw on. But when you’ve been to twenty countries, the twenty-first adds little. And when you’ve been to fifty, the fifty-first adds even less. [the same goes for any other life experience]

Learn to go first. Introduce yourself. Ask them out. Host the event. Voice an idea. Tell people what you want.

You’ll face more rejections when things go wrong, but you’ll get all of the credit when things go right. The world rewards those who go first because so few people do.

by spending the majority of my short life avoiding what was painful and uncomfortable, I had essentially been avoiding being alive at all.