At any rate, during the few hours when the depressive state itself eased off long enough to permit the luxury of concentration, I had recently filled… - William Styron

[However], the sufferer from depression has no option, and therefore finds himself, like a walking casualty of war, thrust into the most intolerable social and family situations. There he must ... present a face approximating the one associated with ordinary events and companionship. He must try to utter small talk and be responsive to questions, and knowingly nod, and frown and, God help him, even smile.

"On Major Depression, quoted by the great William Styron of Sophie's Choice & Darkness Visible:
From Darkness Visible, William Styron

"It is a positive and active anguish, a sort of psychical neuralgia, wholly unknown to normal life.

It was not really alarming at first, since the change was subtle, but I did notice that my surroundings took on a different tone at certain times: the shadows of nightfall seemed more somber, my mornings were less buoyant, walks in the woods became less zestful, and there was a moment during my working hours in the late afternoon when a kind of panic and anxiety overtook me, just for a few minutes, accompanied by a visceral queasiness.