when the overwhelming majority of Europeans were illiterate, it would have been hard to find a Jewish male over the age of five who could not read. V… - Leo Rosten

The twelfth-century poet Abraham ibn Ezra, whom you encountered in high school as Browning’s Rabbi ben Ezra (may his tribe increase), limpidly described the shlimazl’s lot when he wrote: If I sold lamps, The sun, In spite, Would shine at night.

Two shlemiels were drinking tea. In time, one looked up and announced portentously: “Life! What is it? Life — is like a fountain!” The other pondered for a few minutes, then asked, “Why?” The first thought and thought, then sighed. “So okay: life isn’t like a fountain.

A Bulgarian proverb goes: “When you baptize a Jew, hold him underwater for five minutes.