A half a Vicodin and a Bahama Mama...makes for a bitchin' day! - Bill Engvall

Engvall's car breaks down on a highway, there's smoke pouring out of the hood, and a motorist stops to help him.

Because we've become so ecologically minded now, they have developed a product called "Rapidly Dissolving Toilet Paper." Just how "rapidly" are we talking? 'Cause I don't want to have to play "Beat the Clock" in the thicket.

There's a group in California that wants to make suicide a capital offense punishable by death. That's like punishing somebody for being on a hunger strike by sending them to bed with no supper.