Whenever I date a guy, I think, "Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?" - Rita Rudner

Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.

I love being married, I do. It's so great to find that one special person that you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

I don't even know how this word came into being: "aerobics". I guess gym instructors got together and said, "If we're going to charge ten dollars an hour, we can't call it 'jumping up and down'."