[imitates a terrorist] "We must penetrate the west at their most vulnerable spot: Glasgow Airport!" [shakes head] I think the lesson was learned: don… - Michael McIntyre
" "[imitates a terrorist] "We must penetrate the west at their most vulnerable spot: Glasgow Airport!" [shakes head] I think the lesson was learned: don't... fuck... with Scottish people... who have a holiday booked, okay? [imitates Scottish tourist] "I'll get the trolley. You get the bags and stuff. We'll get the rest of the stuff at duty-free. You got our tickets and the passports? What gate are we? Twenty... two. Hold on while I punch this burning man in the face. Fuck off! Bastard! Majorca, here we come! Ten days, I couldn't afford two weeks! Hang on while I just get a light off his face! Hold still, you Al-Qaeda bastard! Where you from?" "Afghan.." "Whereabouts?"
English
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About Michael McIntyre
Michael Hazen McIntyre (born 21 February 1976) is a British comedian.
Also Known As
Birth Name:
Michael Hazen James McIntyre
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Additional quotes by Michael McIntyre
I went "0-7..." and he actually went "Slow down!" So I went "0..." and he went "0-7-0..." "No! 0-7..." "0-7-0-0-7..." "No! 0...7..." "0-7-0-0-7-0-7" "Start again!" "How's Susan?" "Not the conversation, the number! That's not my number!" "Giving me a fake number?! Don't you want me to call?!" "No, no...!" Anyway, he hasn't called.
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People still, old people, insist on picking up the phone and saying their home number, why are you doing that? What a complete waste of time. [imitating old person] "020767944!" [exasperated person on other end] "I know that, I've just dialled it! It's the last thing I did on earth was dial those numbers. Do you open the front door and say your address? It's the same principle."
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