I love the sunrise, but not as much as I love you. Will you pass me my midnight-black blindfold? - Jarod Kintz

When someone I admire turns out to be a rather normal guy, I get offended because it’s an insult to my jealousy.

I want a shower the size of the Sydney Opera House, because you know damn well I sing in the shower. And I might as well make millions off my cleanliness.

Too little light and man can’t see, just as too much light and man is blinded. Love is a light, and should be used to illuminate, not blitz one’s vision.