When people change, I’m disappointed they’re not who I remember them being. And when people don’t change, I’m disappointed they still are who they we… - Jarod Kintz

I’m reminded of Orville Tethington, inventor of the world’s first steam-powered fog machine. He’s also the guy who, after the Germans invented the flame thrower in WWI, decided to counteract it with his own creation, the candle thrower. The candle thrower was only battle tested once, and after fifteen minutes the war zone was littered with lit candles. Upon returning home after the war, some of the soldiers suffered such extreme and bizarre cases of PTSD that anytime a civilian lit a match or used their lighter, the soldiers would hit the ground and start singing “Happy Birthday.

Her love was too cold, like an anti-oven. That's called a freezer, and sometimes it burns food. She gave me heartburn, just like coffee, and it really woke me up to the reality of relationships.

I’d collaborate with my clones, because I’m a team player who wants all the credit.