If I was the headless horseman’s horse, I would fuck with t… - Mitch Hedberg

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If I was the headless horseman’s horse, I would fuck with that dude. "Yeah, we’re going that way. We’re not headed towards the hay." Imagine if the headless horseman had a headless horse, that would be fucking chaos. "We need a head!" Oh, I got a new headless horseman joke. I’d hate to be the headless horseman’s dentist. You wouldn’t make very much money.

Mitch Hedberg

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About Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg (24 February 1968 – 30 March 2005) was an American stand-up comic known for his odd subject matter, subdued delivery and memorable routines that often consisted of a string of one-line non sequiturs.

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Also Known As

Birth Name: Mitchell Lee Hedberg

Alternative Names: Mitch Lee Hedberg • Mitchell Hedberg

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Additional quotes by Mitch Hedberg

When someone on the street tries to hand me a flier, it’s like they’re saying, “Here, you throw this away.”

I like to take a toothpick and throw it in the forest and say: “You’re home!”

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

If I was the headless horseman’s horse, I would fuck with that dude. "Yeah, we’re going that way. We’re not headed towards the hay." Imagine if the h… - Mitch Hedberg

About Mitch Hedberg

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Additional quotes by Mitch Hedberg

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