Enthusiasm, n. A distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward applications of experience. - Ambrose Bierce

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

Her locks an ancient lady gave
Her loving husband's life to save;
And men — they honored so the dame — Upon some stars bestowed her name.

But to our modern married fair,
Who'd give their lords to save their hair,
No stellar recognition's given.
There are not stars enough in heaven.

TRUTH, n.: An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance. Discovery of truth is the sole purpose of philosophy, which is the most ancient occupation of the human mind and has a fair prospect of existing with increasing activity to the end of time.