Since 1960 or thereabouts, when the Beatles and feminism came to power and destroyed the civilisation I was rather fond of... - Jeffrey Bernard

[On the Feminist Dale Spender] It staggers me. In fact I have not been so staggered since I last wore 8oz gloves.

During one of my annual visits to the great Fred Winter's yard I said to him, 'Good God, Fred, your horses look magnificent. Beautifully fit.' Of course they do, you twit,' he said. 'They don't sit up all night drinking gin and tonic and playing cards.'

I once had to dispense with a literary agent because she drank too much. She was very surprised but I pointed out to her, quite logically I thought, that one of us had to be sober and it certainly wasn't going to be me.