Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce (June 24, 1842 – date of death uncertain; probably late 1912 or early 1914) was an American satirist, critic, short story writer, editor and journalist. He is perhaps most famous for his serialized mock lexicon, The Devil's Dictionary, in which, over the years, he scathed American culture and accepted wisdom by pointing out alternate, more practical definitions for common words.
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Learning, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
Exchange between William Harker and the Coroner:
“He seemed a good model for a character in fiction. I sometimes write stories.” “I sometimes read them.” “Thank you.” “Stories in general - not yours.” Some of the jurors laughed.
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MALE, n. A member of the unconsidered, or negligible sex. The male of the human race is commonly known (to the female) as Mere Man. The genus has two varieties: good providers and bad providers.