I once got attacked by a bearskin rug, two days before it w… - Jarod Kintz

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I once got attacked by a bearskin rug, two days before it was a rug.

Jarod Kintz

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Groucho Marx Woody Allen Brandon Boyd Steven Wright Margaret Atwood

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My heart is locked away in a cage surrounded by ribs. That’s to protect it, and to keep the world safe. It’s currently serving a life sentence.

I want to gather up all the ink cartridges in the universe, because somewhere, mixed in with all that ink, is the next great American novel. And I’d love nothing more than to drink it.

I type as fast as a ten-legged man who just had eight legs chopped off runs.

I once got attacked by a bearskin rug, two days before it was a rug. - Jarod Kintz

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Additional quotes by Jarod Kintz

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