If the world were coming to an end tomorrow, I’d probably call in sick to work. - Jarod Kintz

I remember I laughed so hard I cried. But my response was half appropriate, because I was at a funeral.

To me, impulsive means foolish. But if a person’s not a little impulsive, they don’t have a pulse.

I wrote this because someone put a gun to my head and said, “Write.” And do you know how long it takes to type with one hand while your other hand is shaking from holding a loaded Sig Sauer? Well, at least twice as long.