There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot. - Steven Wright

So I figured I'd leave the area, because I had no ties there anyway except for this girl I was seeing. We had conflicting attitudes: I really wasn't into meditating and she wasn't really into being alive. I told her I knew when I was going to die because my birth certificate has an expiration date.

When i have a kid, I want to put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall looking frantic.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.