The reason there are so many gyms in London is because the amount of gay people who are here now. - Karl Pilkington

And whilst the lizard’s having a kip, the scorpion says, ‘Tell ya what: I’ll do you a little deal…’

You know how they say people have six senses? There's loads more than that. [The ability to feel someone looking at you], that's been around since man and dinosaur were knockin' about.

No it's one of them things though, imagine it.. if you're that caretaker and you're thinkin I've got away with this then suddenly a plant grasses you up.. you weren't expectin that.