as long as there is a hope or expectation of some result to be derived from zazen, then zazen is tainted. - Dōgen

"Living out life is different from the art of competition for survival. If you go through the world with the attitude "I care for livelihood, money, and nothing more, but anyway let's have a baby," you will fall into a pit in the final stage of your life, just like him."

When you ride in a boat and watch the shore, you might assume that the shore is moving. But when you keep your eyes closely on the boat, you can see that the boat moves. Similarly, if you examine many things with a confused mind, you might suppose that your mind and nature are permanent. But when you practice intimately and return to where you are, it will be clear that there is nothing that has unchanging self.

Even when you are clearly correct and others are mistaken, it is harmful to argue and defeat them. On the other hand, if you admit fault when you are right, you are a coward. It is best to step back, neither trying to correct others nor conceding to mistaken views. If you don't react competitively, and let go of the conflict, others will also let go of it without harboring ill will. Above all, this is something you should keep in mind.