I don’t think anybody’s ever written a song called, “There’… - Jarod Kintz

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I don’t think anybody’s ever written a song called, “There’s urine on the couch, and the remote control is in the shower.” I would write it myself, but I’ve never been very good at writing love ballads.

Jarod Kintz

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Groucho Marx Woody Allen Brandon Boyd Steven Wright Margaret Atwood

Additional quotes by Jarod Kintz

I’m willing to die for the woman I love. I just want to take 75 years to do it.

I’d kill for any one of my friends. Thankfully for the overpopulated prison system, I don’t have any friends.

I let the feeling wash over me, and then I dried off with a fur coat and went for a walk on my unicycle.

I don’t think anybody’s ever written a song called, “There’s urine on the couch, and the remote control is in the shower.” I would write it myself, b… - Jarod Kintz

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