Comedy made me friends, big friends to protect me from bullies. I made them laugh, and you don’t hit the kid that makes you laugh. - Mel Brooks

Bialystock: How dare you condemn me without knowing all the facts!
Bloom: Mr Bialystock...
Bialystock: Shut up! I'm having a rhetorical conversation.You see this? This once held a pearl as big as your eye. Look at me now. Look at me now! I'm wearing a cardboard belt.

Lady, it rose below vulgarity.

While Anne and I were visiting my mother in Florida, I rented a Lincoln Town Car to drive around. One day I pulled up outside of The Presidential in it to pick up my mom and Aunt Sadie for dinner. When I got out of the car a guy in a chauffer’s cap threw a question at me. He said, “Who ya got?” I didn’t know what he was talking about…and then I realized that I was parked next to another black Lincoln Town Car that was clearly for hire. He repeated his question. He said, “Who ya got? Who ya driving?” I said, “Oh! Mel Brooks. I’m driving Mel Brooks.” I didn’t want to lie to him. He said, “Mel Brooks? Wow. Is he a good tipper?” I said, “The best!