I am s-stiff; Medusa has looked at me; I'm turning into a pillar of salt. That'd be funny if, like, you know how Medusa, if you looked at her you tur… - Mitch Hedberg
" "I am s-stiff; Medusa has looked at me; I'm turning into a pillar of salt. That'd be funny if, like, you know how Medusa, if you looked at her you turned into a pillar of salt, like if you were eating and, like, "This isn't very salty. Hey, dude, look at that snake-haired bitch! … Thank you... Hmm, not bad now; thanks, snake-haired bitch! I'd like to make eye contact, but it's salty enough."
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About Mitch Hedberg
Mitch Hedberg (24 February 1968 – 30 March 2005) was an American stand-up comic known for his odd subject matter, subdued delivery and memorable routines that often consisted of a string of one-line non sequiturs.
Biography information from Wikiquote
Also Known As
Birth Name:
Mitchell Lee Hedberg
Alternative Names:
Mitch Lee Hedberg
•
Mitchell Hedberg
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I got a "do not disturb" sign on my hotel door. It says "do not disturb". Its time to go with "don't disturb". Its been "do not disturb" for too long. We need to embrace the contraction. "Don't disturb". "Do Not" psyches you out. "'Do,' alright I get to disturb this guy... 'Not,' SHIT! I need to read faster!" I like to wear "do not disturb" signs around my neck so that little kids can't tell me knock knock jokes. "Say, how you doin', nephew." "Knock Knock?" "Read the sign, punk!"
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