Nothing carries meaning. People carry meaning. We are the porters of importance. - Jarod Kintz

Some people use laughter as a weapon. It's all very funny until someone loses an eye. But then I guess it just makes the joke even funnier, because you never see it coming.

I had to quit my taxi cab driving job because I had no way to get to work. The problem was I kept calling myself to come pick me up.

They say you fear what you don't understand. Maybe that's why every time I'm in South Florida, and I hear someone talking in Spanish, I always shit my pants.