We made love like Wednesday and Thursday, only Thursday wasn’t always on top. Her name was Yesterday, and today will always remind me of her. - Jarod Kintz

Conspiracy theorists like to claim NASA’s moon landing was faked. Well of course it was! But the biggest conspiracy of all is the Columbus landed in the new world in the late 15th century. There is no new world. It simply doesn’t exist. And Amerigo Vespucci? He was a character out of Walt Disney’s diary.

I'm all for all for one, especially when I'm the one. That's my philosophy when the dinner bill arrives at the table.

I object to that object that’s made of bronze and shaped like my clone. It should be made of gold, and shaped like me.