See, a lot of people think freedom means you can do anything you want. That’s not true. The more freedom you have, the more responsibility you have. My life has always been about freedom and independence. And in some ways, acting has too. What is so great about acting is that after 62 years, suddenly the technique is in you already. You don’t have to think about it anymore. Suddenly you’re free.
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Acting is a great way to channel the rage and stuff that is a wasted emotion anyway. Acting is all about being in the present. There is something about the power of now. The whole concept of you can’t control the future, and what just happened doesn’t matter, so being in the present gives you extra awareness if you can do it. Stay in the moment. A lot of our fear is misplaced. Can’t control the future so you might as well deal with it, and stay in the present. It’s one moment in the present to the next moment in the present. That’s a lot of what acting is about. I think it’s also a good way to live. Stay real. I just think about the big picture. It’s an interesting time we live in, and definitely a good time to be in the entertainment business.
Acting has been a journey of self-discovery for me. It is the most fulfilling thing I know. It is also terrifying, and painfully awkward. But for me there is no better feeling that truthfully living in a moment, under completely imaginative circumstances. There is also nothing more devastating than walking out of an audition knowing that you were “acting” and not simply being. I feel like a fraud most of the time, but then you have these magical moments when you really feel and it is those moments that make it all worthwhile. It’s a high like nothing I have ever experienced. Acting is the most paradoxical of crafts – you have to learn it, practice obsessively and then throw it all away. Its like walking on a tightrope, there is a very thin line between passion and technique and you have to find the perfect balance. I think it’s a very personal and private art.
The thing I love about acting is, whatever character you play, it gives you the chance to expose another side of yourself that maybe you’ve never felt comfortable with, or never knew about. Not that every character is you, but there are underlying emotions that everybody has. I feel that movies are gifts that come to you, and there are no accidents in what you end up doing. I study Jung, who talks a lot about the shadow side, the repressed side.
I'm unfettered by the world, which is a very unique place to be at my age. I'll have to eventually choose what these next few years will be about, but I'm not in a rush. Besides, my personal life is much more important to me than my professional life and my self-worth isn't based on whether or not I act. I love acting, but I'm also looking into the great wide-open at this as-yet unpainted mural that will be my life. Whether or not it involves the movie business I'm not sure. I'm much more interested in becoming a good man than in becoming a good actor.
Like most female actresses, I am always aspiring to succeed and become a popular star, and my positive energy never dies out. And it wasn’t until entering my twenties that I began to identify my real dream as an actress. I realized that acting is not all about receiving people’s applause or cheer. It is about delivering the right character to the audience and feeling satisfied in who you become on stage. Therefore, I try to focus more on the abstract qualities of acting, and I hope to become a better actress throughout time.
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