If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no. - Bo Burnham

Walkin' my poodles, man, it never gets old
With my dogs on the leash, I got bitches on the hold
A first-AIDS kit? That's a rhesus monkey I bust more nuts than a pistachio junkie

Hey, what can you say?
We were overdue
But it'll be over soon

Love is... your favorite food for every breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and
Love is... the Holocaust, except you don't die quick and you don't get thinner, and
Love is... bein' the owner of the company that makes rape whistles, and
Even though you started the company with good intentions, trying to reduce the rate of rape,
Now you don't want to reduce it at all, 'cause if the rape rate declines, you'll see an equal decline in whistle sales