I want to be strapped to a table, while a family of chicken… - Jarod Kintz

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I want to be strapped to a table, while a family of chickens argues over who gets to eat my legs.

Jarod Kintz

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Groucho Marx Woody Allen Brandon Boyd Steven Wright Margaret Atwood

Additional quotes by Jarod Kintz

I bought an oxygen tank, because with the global population at over seven billion people and rising, what if the world were to suddenly run out of air? And while the people will be suffocating, I’ll be the only guy prepared to pillage and loot.

They say koala bears have tiny brains and eat grass. I say to be good at golf you must go full koala bear, and forget about all the greens you've chewed up and focus only on this hole and this swing.

One thing I often get carried away with is piggyback rides.

I want to be strapped to a table, while a family of chickens argues over who gets to eat my legs. - Jarod Kintz

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