While listening is by far the most important form of attention, other forms are also necessary in most loving relationships, particularly with childr… - M. Scott Peck

As the theologian Alan Jones has said:

One of our problems is that very few of us have developed any distinctive personal life. Everything about us seems secondhand, even our emotions. In many cases we have to rely on secondhand information in order to function. I accept the word of a physician, a scientist, a farmer, on trust. I do not like to do this. I have to because they possess vital knowledge of living of which I am ignorant. Secondhand information concerning the state of my kidneys, the effects of cholesterol, and the raising of chickens, I can live with. But when it comes to questions of meaning, purpose, and death, secondhand information will not do. I cannot survive on a secondhand faith in a secondhand God. There has to be a personal word, a unique confrontation, if I am to come alive.

The idea that God is actively nurturing us so that we might grow up to be like Him brings us face to face with our own laziness.

If someone is determined not to risk pain, then such a person must do without many things: [...] - all that makes life alive, meaningful and significant.