[When asked if he could think of a cure for a dog who eats soil] - Noel Fielding

I think I should be in a [Disney animated] film called ‘Space Shrews’. Where I go to space. With a load of shrews. And nothing really happens. We just get out and have a lolly and then come back. But it’ll be a musical [...] the ship will be built out of my own hair.

I used to suck [Smarties] until they were all white, let them dry, and then put them back in the packet and show my mum the Smarties with no colour on them.

I had a garter snake named Clayton.