If you’re going to live in a city for ten years, if you’re going to be in a job for five years, if you’re in a relationship for a decade, you should be spending one to two years deciding these things. These are highly dominating decisions. Those three decisions really matter.

We spend very little time deciding which relationship to get into. We spend so much time in a job, but we spend so little time deciding which job to get into. Choosing what city to live in can almost completely determine the trajectory of your life, but we spend so little time trying to figure out what city to live in. Advice to a young engineer considering moving to San Francisco: “Do you want to leave your friends behind? Or be the one left behind?” If you’re going to live in a city for ten years, if you’re going to be in a job for five years, if you’re in a relationship for a decade, you should be spending one to two years deciding these things. These are highly dominating decisions. Those three decisions really matter.

When you choose something, you get locked in for a long time. Starting a business may take ten years. You start a relationship that will be five years or maybe more. You move to a city for ten to twenty years. These are very, very long-lived decisions. It’s very, very important we only say yes when we are pretty certain. You’re never going to be absolutely certain, but you’re going to be very certain.

we must take time with this decision, because what we are aiming at, a lifetime together, is really quite a long time

There are basically three really big decisions you make in your early life: where you live, who you’re with, and what you do.

If you can’t decide, the answer is no. If I’m faced with a difficult choice, such as: Should I marry this person? Should I take this job? Should I buy this house? Should I move to this city? Should I go into business with this person? If you cannot decide, the answer is no. And the reason is, modern society is full of options. There are tons and tons of options. We live on a planet of seven billion people, and we are connected to everybody on the internet. There are hundreds of thousands of careers available to you. There are so many choices. You’re biologically not built to realize how many choices there are. Historically, we’ve all evolved in tribes of 150 people. When someone comes along, they may be your only option for a partner.

And finally, please remember these three decisions that you’re making each day, and choose well: 1. Decide what you’re going to focus on. It will determine what you experience in life. 2. Decide what things mean. It will determine what you feel. 3. And decide what you’re going to do. It will determine your results.

This is how life works. Deciding whom to love is not an alien form of decision-making, a romantic interlude in the midst of normal life. Instead, decisions about whom to love are more intense versions of the sorts of decisions we make throughout the course of our existence, from what kind of gelato to order to what career to pursue. Living is an inherently emotional business.

In life, you decide on those things that are important to you,

Deciding to commit yourself to long term results rather than short term fixes is as important as any decision you'll make in your lifetime.

There are some experiences that you can have only when you’ve lived in the same place for five years, when you’ve been with the same person for over a decade, when you’ve been working on the same skill or craft for half your lifetime. Now that I’m in my thirties, I can finally recognize that commitment, in its own way, offers a wealth of opportunity and experiences that would otherwise never be available to me, no matter where I went or what I did.

Many people have a hard time making decisions because they don't know what is important.

When you have a clear mission and you are completely sure what is important to you, most decisions become easy. Once you're fully committed, you don't need rules for how to spend your time. It's obvious which decision to make. It's clear what to prioritize.

Many people don't need productivity or time management advice. They need conviction.

When we first got married, we made a pact. It was this: In our life together, it was decided I would make all of the big decisions and my wife would make all of the little decisions. For fifty years, we have held true to that agreement. I believe that is the reason for the success in our marriage. However, the strange thing is that in fifty years, there hasn’t been one big decision.

Many decisions are made in our lifetime, Most relatively insignificant while others life altering