staying with a negative experience past the point that’s useful is like running laps in Hell: You dig the track a little deeper in your brain each ti… - Rick Hanson

It’s easy to be kind when others treat you well. The challenge is to preserve your loving-kindness when they treat you badly — to preserve goodwill in the face of ill will.

By taking just a few extra seconds to stay with a positive experience — even the comfort in a single breath — you’ll help turn a passing mental state into lasting neural structure.

Being dependent may sound like a weakness, but it is one of our greatest strengths. Spreading to the farthest corners of the globe, even walking upon the moon, humans have become so wildly successful through depending on each other: children on their parents, one parent on another, families on communities, and communities on the many adults who aren’t raising children. The root of the word “confident” means “to have trust or faith.” If others are dependable, we develop trust in them as well as faith in our own worth. But if others are not dependable, it’s normal to develop a sense of inadequacy, self-doubt, even shame. This is particularly true in childhood, when we are both most dependent on others and most affected by our negative experiences.