I ain't seen pussy in so long I'd throw stones at it. - David Sedaris

I thought the president-elect’s identity as a despicable human being was something we could all agree on.

They're hungry for something they know nothing about, but we, we know all too well that the price of fame is the loss of privacy.

When it happens to you it's a national tragedy — Why aren't the papers reporting this? you wonder. Only when it happens to someone else do you realize what a dull story it really is.