I wish I could grow swords like I can roses. Wouldn’t war b… - Jarod Kintz

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I wish I could grow swords like I can roses. Wouldn’t war be so romantic then? Then the U.S. could really show the world how much it loves it.

Jarod Kintz

This Book is Not for Sale · 2011 Verified in 1 source Sign up to see the complete provenance

English

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About Jarod Kintz

Jarod Kintz is an American author of absurdist humor, known for self-published collections of surreal one-liners and random thoughts. His prolific, often meta-titled works include "This Book is Not for Sale," "99 Cents for Some Nonsense," and "This Book Title is Invisible," published largely through Amazon Kindle. Widely quoted online for his deadpan, nonsensical voice, he describes himself as a writer, absurdist, and duck farmer based in the American South.

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Groucho Marx Woody Allen Brandon Boyd Steven Wright Margaret Atwood

Additional quotes by Jarod Kintz

I want a shower the size of the Sydney Opera House, because you know damn well I sing in the shower. And I might as well make millions off my cleanliness.

I always wear roller skates when I ride my bicycle. The more wheels the better, and that's what makes me a better lover. You know you want to go for a spin. I'll bring the record player, if you bring 1982 and her little sister, Elton John.

I wanted to make love in the rain, but owing to unfavorable (or, rather favorable) weather conditions, I took to the shower as a suitable substitute.

I wish I could grow swords like I can roses. Wouldn’t war be so romantic then? Then the U.S. could really show the world how much it loves it. - Jarod Kintz

About Jarod Kintz

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Additional quotes by Jarod Kintz