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" "So please don't think that I am renouncing anything, I am reasonably faithful in my unfaithfulness and though I have changed, I am the same, and what preys on my mind is simply this one question: what am I good for, could I not be of service or use in some way, how can I become more knowledgeable and study some subject or other in depth? That is what keeps preying on my mind, you see, and then one feels imprisoned by poverty, barred from taking part in this or that project and all sorts of necessities are out of one's reach. As a result one cannot rid oneself of melancholy, one feels emptiness where there might have been friendship and sublime and genuine affection, and one feels dreadful disappointment gnawing at one's spiritual energy, fate seems to stand in the way of affection or one feels a wave of disgust welling up inside. And then one says “How long, my God!”
Vincent Willem van Gogh (30 March 1853 – 29 July 1890) was a Dutch Post-Impressionist painter who posthumously became one of the most famous and influential figures in Western art history. In a decade, he created about 2,100 artworks, including around 860 oil paintings, most of which date from the last two years of his life. They include landscapes, still lifes, portraits, and self-portraits, and are characterised by bold colours and dramatic, impulsive and expressive brushwork that contributed to the foundations of modern art. Not commercially successful, he struggled with severe depression and poverty, eventually leading to his suicide at age thirty-seven.
Biography information from Wikiquote
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Aklımda hep serviler var, ayçiçekleri tablosuna benzer bir şeyde onları kullanmak istiyorum çünkü benim aklımdaki şekilde hâlâ resmedilmemiş olmaları beni hayrete düşürüyor. Servilerin biçimleri ve oranları Mısır dikilitaşları kadar güzel. Yeşilleri o kadar farklı ki. Güneşli bir manzaranın ortasında kara bir leke gibi ama gördüğüm en ilginç siyah tonlarından biri bu ve kafamda canlananı tam olarak yansıtmak çok zor. Ama bir de onları mavinin önünde görmen lazım, hatta mavinin içinde. Her yerde olduğu gibi burada da doğayı resmetmek için uzun süre içinde kalman gerekiyor.
Dar din tulburarea de nedescris a sufletului meu a țâșnit în mine o idee, aidoma unei lumini strălucitoare în noapte: cine se poate resemna să se resemneze, dar, dacă ești în stare să crezi, atunci crede! Și m-am ridicat de jos, nu ca un om resemnat, ci ca un credincios și n-am mai avut alt gând decât: ea, nimeni alta.
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