Sluts! Sluts! I fuck sluts! Sluts get fucked when I fuck sluts! No ifs, ands, and/or butts, I fuck sluts! I fuck sluts! Nice girls are nice, but no g… - Bo Burnham
" "Sluts! Sluts! I fuck sluts! Sluts get fucked when I fuck sluts! No ifs, ands, and/or butts, I fuck sluts! I fuck sluts! Nice girls are nice, but no good for nut-sucking! They'll need a serene night to green light a butt-fucking, but that'll be easy with sleazy old slut fucking! Boo to the nice girls, praise he to slut fucking! I have a list. A list? Yes a list of all the sluts I've missed. I have not fucked or sucked these sluts and thus my nuts are fucking pissed! So when I fuck the lucky slut my nut removes her from the list; another dumb cum bucket struck from my nut-sucking, suck-it-slut, slut fucking bucket list. (aside to the audience, "Yes! You hear the influences. Chaucer, Keats!) Sluts can be white, black, brown, pink, or almond! They can be skinny with big tits or skinny with small ones! Sluts can be perky or preppy or posh with their brains and their clothes all shrunk from the wash! But some sluts are pretty and funny and smart...these sluts can lift all your thoughts from your dick to your heart. They can talk about science or music or art. They can put you together, or they can pull you apart. But don't trust these sluts. Don't...don't you dare. They'll force you to trust them and love them and care! And then they'll be gone and you'll be aware of the hole in your heart that that dumb slut left there.
About Bo Burnham
Bo Burnham (born August 21, 1990) is an American singer-songwriter, actor, comedian, and Internet celebrity.
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Additional quotes by Bo Burnham
So, um... I've been working on this special now for six months. And the whole time I've had a... a goal in mind, which is I wanted to finish this thing before I turned 30. Um, because the idea of turning 30, while still in this fucking room, working on this thing alone, um, that just seemed... I just... I just wanted to avoid that. And you might be thinking, "Well, that's fine. You know, look at you, You radiate such youth, You must not be turning 30 for years." And that's very, uh, nice of you to say. But the truth is um, I turn 30 in less than a minute. So I'm just gonna sit here and enjoy my twenties, and then get back to work. Yay.